Statistics Haiku Project
Amherst College

The Statistics Haiku Project (SHP) is an initiative to gather haikus about or relating to statistics. A haiku consists of three lines. The first and third lines must have 5 syllables each; the second line must have seven. We have dropped the requirement that a season of the year be mentioned. A selection is available on this website.

Linear model
in R. Oh no, outliers
sprinkle like rain drops!

Will I pass this class?
make a null hypothesis
p-value is small!

P and F values
why do they still confuse me?
One minute essay

Bootstrap the data
regress into regression
dodge type I errors

random samples rule
in the world of statistics
---overcome unknowns

larger sample size
with central limit theorem
approaches normal

t, F, p, s-hat
all tell of a relation
not the direction

A grouping of rules
that we use to understand
large sets of data

ANOVA for me
using an SPSS
makes me happier

s ta tis ti cs
will be the end of me now
who can save my soul

Now I am waiting
SPSS crunches stats
What will it tell me?

Assume Red Sox suck
Yet, they beat the Yankees; called
--- a type II error!

Rejection of null
after F-values compared
Tukey test follows

Stats in McConnell
Like passing a kidney stone
Sinking or swimming

A data sample
Ink equations from the text
Calculating stats

Oh dear statistics
Your formulas are complex
--Yet fascinate me

You are important
Your real significance
enlightens the world

One-way ANOVA
plug and chug computer style
the results appear!

I like stats because
I learn so much about math
Just kidding, it stinks :-)

But is it normal?
Independent groups t test
Now I can use you.

asking questions in
behavioral science
calculating answers.

Sometimes confusing
Always three or more levels
One-way ANOVA

Statistical tests
rely on assumptions that
are necessary

Analyzing everything
Chill guys, its just math

ANOVA, Tukey
inferential statistics
use SPSS

Statistics is hard
But lab is very helpful
I want to go home.

One way ANOVA
greater than t though smaller
many become one.

So many numbers
So little time left,
Whats that equation?

Which letter means what?
All things you must know in stats
to reject the null.

Numbers make no sense
But with Horton and Palmer
Ah! Let there be light!

One way ANOVA
Reject null hypothesis
Now draw conclusions

t test, z scores, means
what do the numbers imply?
David and Nick know.

I love ANOVAs
every morning I cant wait

Oh eta-squared you
are easy to calculate
yet give much info

Different tests for
each different condition
Find out relations

So much work to do
for the fun-filled ANOVA
Thanks SPSS!

I am confident.
P-value's significant
Wiggle words can't lie.

P-values are great.
They help us to reject nulls
or fail to reject.

Simpson's paradox
Is only the beginning
Getting dangerous

StatCrunch does not know.
SPSS is ready.
But I am still lost.

Regression's wonder -
Multiple in nature with
"y" against "x"-es

standard error or
standard deviation or
root mse hmmm

Am I near normal?
Is my n large enough to
make inferences?

Stats are quite useful
But can be tricky sometimes
Three meanings of “p”

Statistics is fun
Interpretive dance of math
Useful for research

The only math class
In which we use so many
different letters

Margin of error
Find the z and t scores quick
I am confident

Found correlation
Careful, it's not causation
Variables may lurk

Models recently
Are getting frightfully thin
They fail the F-test

Stats are not psychic
Can’t go beyond our data
Don’t extrapolate

Shape, center, spread, range
I would like a picture please
describes intro stats

To be normal or
not to be normal is the
major question here

r-squared adjusts
Check model's validity with
"p" "se" values.

Null hypothesis
Reject or not to reject
I am on that quest

It is hard
calculating confidence intervals
without using technology

How far from the mean-
sign of abnormality
of data value

Oh statistics rocks
Friday afternoon giggles
With Nick it is fun

Ipod shuffle lab
made me question my ipod
we used to be friends

I am ninety five
percent confident that stats
will drive me crazy

More than one outcome
is possible, thats why we
do a two tailed test

See also the University of Queensland haiku page.

Nicholas Horton
Last updated May 5, 2014 using vi.